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T O M B A T O S S A L S // S O F T W O R K S
An entire division of the studio devoted to one absurd, beautiful idea: writing the operating systems and shells these machines always deserved. From a Commodore 128 in forty columns to a DOS that grew windows. Five systems, fifteen years of alternate history, zero licenses.
A brand-new desktop for the 1987 Commodore Amiga 500, written in 2026: a synthwave-styled environment with ten "Centers", fifteen games and demos — including Neon Dungeon, a first-person 3D dungeon crawler on a stock 68000 — office apps with a real formula engine and ARexx automation. All inside a single 160 KB executable that boots from one floppy and uses 0% CPU when idle.
DECLARED RIVALVS Workbench
// SPEC SHEET
A500 · 68000 · 1MB160 KB · one floppy10 Centers · 8 games · 7 demosMIT · 0% idle CPU
A serious, beautiful, game-focused DOS for real 386 hardware. FreeDOS underneath, a text-mode fortress identity on top: eight memory profiles, a game launcher, an installer and a rescue disk. The machine boots onto CASTALIA and nothing else.
DECLARED RIVALVS MS-DOS 6.22
// SPEC SHEET
386SX+ · 640K · VGAFreeDOS + Open Watcom8 boot profilesMIT + GPLv2+ · no Microsoft
A complete graphical desktop for DOS — overlapping windows, a taskbar and Start button, thirty-plus built-in programs, eighteen themes and a demoscene screensaver — that boots from DOS and flies on 4 MB of RAM. Free, MIT, and written in period-correct C89. The Windows 95 every 386 owner dreamed of in 1992, three years early and 120 KB small.
An original Win9x/XP-inspired desktop, written from scratch in portable C89, that boots on FreeDOS as a 32-bit protected-mode binary. It composites its entire UI into a 32-bit XRGB back buffer and presents it at 8 or 16 bits with no dithering: ten real applications, four virtual desktops and .CAPP add-ons, with no Microsoft code anywhere.
DECLARED RIVALVS Windows 98 SE
// SPEC SHEET
FreeDOS + DOS/4GW · VESA 800×60018,462 lines of C · 93 files10 apps · 4 desktops · .CAPP add-ons457 tests green · MIT
A graphical desktop for the Commodore 128, written entirely in BASIC v7.0: a menu bar, twelve tools behind twelve PETSCII icons, windows with shadows, three themes and a textured ground — in forty columns on a 1 MHz VIC-IIe, with no REU, no 80-column monitor and not one bitmap. It draws by POKEing straight into screen and colour RAM, and it opens in about three seconds because the launcher is blitted from disk rather than drawn. A second edition puts seventeen apps on the 80-column VDC.
DECLARED RIVALVS GEOS 128
// SPEC SHEET
BASIC v7.0 · 3 hand-assembled 6502 routines12 tools in 40 columns · 17 apps in 803 themes · 4 grounds · joystick or keyboardBoots in ~3 s · no REU, no bitmaps
An honest comparison, no thumb on the scale: where the rival wins, we say so. Pick a system and watch how it does against its declared adversary — we take freedom and telemetry, and concede the rest like sports.